Ariel B.'s TOO MANY EXCLAMATION POINTS
Ariel B.'s TOO MANY EXCLAMATION POINTS
31, Health System Program Manager, North Carolina
The perspectives and stories shared in this conversation reflect only those of the speakers and in no way represent the viewpoints of their employers or connected organizations.
Ariel is a 31-year-old program manager working in a comprehensive health and hospital system. During this episode of TOO MANY EXCLAMATION POINTS, she shares about her career pivot after having a child, how she’s working to re-find herself and the piece of advice that we could all use on our career journeys.
Please note: Our conversation has been edited and condensed for this newsletter. Enjoy the full conversation with Ariel on the TOO MANY EXCLAMATION POINTS podcast.
Who are you, what do you do for a living, and what are you passionate about right now?
Thanks so much for having me. My name is Ariel, I am currently a program manager in orthopedic surgery research at a local hospital in North Carolina, and I am super passionate about finding myself again. I’m a mom and a wife. I have a big extended family, so, since really growing our family and coming out of the pandemic, I feel like life just got crazy and I’m just sort of starting to settle back into life. Who am I? Who do I want to be as an adult out of college, now that I’ve been out of college for almost ten years? Just trying to find myself again.
I think a lot of us can relate to that, especially this time in our life and managing *all the things*, it’s a lot to think about. Can you share your 3-5 minute career story from starting college all the way through to your current position?
So, I attended college in Massachusetts and I got my undergraduate degree in athletic training. I then went on to North Carolina and I pursued a Master’s in exercise and sport science with a concentration in athletic training. So, I got a post-professional degree. I was really all-in and sold on athletic training, which is sports medicine. I loved it, it was an amazing job, it was so much fun. Every day was different, working with athletes and coaches and so many different people, it was just a fun job. So, I bounced around a little while my now-husband and I were moving around trying to settle roots. I ended up at a small Division 3 college for a while, then a mid-major Division 1 college for a little bit, then I was working for a local hospital and was outsourced to an all-girls school that was residential high school and college all in one campus, then the pandemic hit.
We had our son in July of 2020, which was quite the time to have a kid. It was extenuating circumstances and I kind of knew going into athletic training that the schedule was tough — you’re covering practices and games, you’re working early mornings, nights, weekends and holidays, since that’s really when the sports are happening. So, my days would vary, some days I’d have to be up at 4:30 a.m. to be in by 6 a.m., and some nights I’d be covering basketball practice until 11 p.m. You’re really at the mercy of the coaches and athletes and their schedules. There was no control over when I was working. There was also a lot of rigidity around when I could take vacation time because somebody had to be there. So, when we had our son it really made me think about what do I want? As much as I love this and love the day to day, I love the interactions and the relationships I’ve built. It just wasn’t going to be sustainable to have the family life I wanted. And then with COVID throwing an extra wrench in it, I just didn’t want to do college athletics. I don’t want to have to worry about monitoring people and testing people, and tracking who they’ve been around? I just don’t want to do it, I have a three-month old at home and I need to do something different. So, my husband was pretty well settled in his job, so I was relatively geographically confined. We do live in a relatively large metro area, so I had several options of cities to go work in, but I really wasn’t sure what I wanted to do. Athletic training is not like a business degree or psychology or sociology where there’s so many things you can do with it. If you go to athletic training school, you’re going to be an athletic trainer. So, I just started searching for “orthopedics.” I don’t know a job in sales, do I go work in a clinic working as an assistant for a doctor? And I came across this position for a local hospital as an assistant project manager for orthopedic surgery research. And I was like, “Well, I know orthopedics. And I’ve done research.” So I thought maybe let’s give it a try. I knew that I was strong with interviewing, and I had a strong résumé, so worse came to worse I could just pivot again and get another job.
It was the best decision I ever made in my career. I’m still in the same department and I’ve been lucky to be promoted a couple times and I work for some of the best people. It is amazing how it all worked out, because I just can’t imagine being at this point in my life without the people and the position I’m in right now.
Oh wow. Can you talk a little bit more about your thought process in making that pivot. You went to school for athletic training, you got your Master’s in it with the purpose of going into athletic training. Here you are 5-6 years into your career and then you’re like, “just kidding.” What’s that internal dialogue like? Not that we have to explain why we do things, but you’re close with your family, so talking to your parents and your husband about it?
Yeah, I had a lot of support from my family. When I was in school, my parents saw it and were like, “Are you sure?” and I was like, “Yes, I love it.” To this day, I still love athletic training, I miss it so much. My son had a t-ball game today, it is a Saturday in the middle of March, I’d be stuck at work all day on a Saturday and I would have missed this huge milestone - it’s his first ever game. I would have missed that if I hadn’t made a pivot. My husband was super supportive and my family was like, “Yeah, we kinda saw this coming, it’s not a huge surprise.” There was no changing my mind in college, I really loved it.
For me, it was really about identifying my why. As much as I love it, which is more important to me: a career that I love and my forty hours of week at work, or do I need to make a change so that I can have the work-life balance to have the family life that I want while still mirroring a job that I like? I don’t think its worth changing jobs to something you hate, where you spend 40 hours a week miserable, then that bleeds into home life. So, there was a lot of weighing to do, but I knew that I was not going to be happy in my current job and that I couldn’t be the mom that I wanted to be and the wife I wanted to be without making that change.
And what advice would you have for someone who does want to make that pivot away from something they’ve been doing for a long time, into something that might be out of their comfort zone or in a new direction?
Like I mentioned, you have to identify your “why.” Is it because you don’t like what you’re doing? Is it because you don’t see an opportunity for upward mobility and you want the opportunity for growth? Is it because of home life? Is it because geographically you want to be somewhere else? You have to identify your “why,” and decide if taking the leap knowing things may not work out. Weighing those pros and cons, what happens if it doesn’t work out? What is the back-up plan, what are your other options if it doesn’t work out? I was super fortunate that I ended up in a great place with wonderful people who are so supportive professionally and personally. But you know, I still had the back-up plan in my mind. I still had good relationships with my past employers and if I came back with my tail between my legs asking if a position was available, I felt confident that I would be able to get something again so that I could still financially support my family. I think knowing, “why,” what are your options, and then finding something that fits with your “why,” and satisfies that is really important.
I think you bring up a really good point, because a lot of times in our minds when we think about making a decision like that, you think it’s for forever, you think “I can never go back, I can never try this again.” We start adding “never’s” into these statements and it’s like, no you can absolutely go back to it if it doesn’t work out. I think we need to be open to making those changes to try to find a little bit better of that “why,” you mentioned, knowing that if it doesn’t work out, you can always go back.
And there’s always jobs. If it doesn’t work out and you can’t find something in your desired field, you know what, there’s always a job if you’re not able to financially support yourself in a gap period of time. There’s always work to be done and jobs to be had while you’re looking and trying to find that right fit. As hard as that is, there’s always opportunities and its just a matter of trial and error, and see what works, see what you like. It’s for the most part not set in stone. There are very few jobs where you have a commitment and you’re locked in, but I think there’s always the opportunity to pivot again.
And you’re a mom, which you’ve shared, which is wonderful. There’s the obvious change that having your son has had on your career, in that you went from athletic training to your current position, but what are some other ways that having him has transitioned or changed the way you think about your career, your career journey and your long-term potential?
I mean everything I do is for him now. Yes, there’s a lot of things I do for my personal satisfaction and to better myself, my husband, our family, and our situation. But, you know when I’m looking at my job, I think part of our generation is that we’re not very good at sitting still. We’re always looking for opportunity, we’re always looking for growth, how can we advance, how can we move up. It’s just the way we are and I’m seeing that with generational differences in my department. You know, we don’t get into a job and just sit still and work the same job for thirty years, that’s just not what we do. We’re constantly looking for that personal development and fulfillment, and when I’m thinking about those things, it’s how is that going to impact my son, how is it going to impact my life with my husband. Yes, I would love to keep getting promoted and moving my way up, but at what cost do those come? Sure, it’s great to make more money, but am I going to be working 50-60 hours a week? That’s not worth it for me personally. There are some people who are willing to sacrifice time at home for extra money. For me, as I’m looking forward in my career, it’s weighing out how can I advance myself and stay true to why I changed careers in the first place. I don’t want to move backwards to the point where I’m in the same situation as I was ten years ago when I left that for better work-life balance. So, I think weighing that as I’m moving forward in my career is something that’s in the back of mind.
You bring up a really excellent point, especially our generation, you and I are the same age, we performed in high school and college the same way, we pursue things, we’re type A, that’s sort of our personalities. We aren’t going to settle necessarily, we’re going to constantly be thinking about what’s next, sometimes to our detriment, about what is to come. It’s a huge shift from generations before us that work in the same company for thirty years, they start and then they retire. And for us we’re consistently moving and we’re either changing organizations, changing departments, changing job titles, getting promoted, so I think you bring up a good point, I made this change for this reason, so let’s not get bogged down by the glimmeriness of a higher salary that would deplete the purpose of why I changed in the first place.
Yeah, exactly.
You mentioned earlier that you are in this season of life of renewing who you are, re-finding out who is Ariel at this point in life, as a wife, as a daughter, as the mom of a wonderful little boy. Talk to us about that, what has that process been like for you?
I feel like that’s really been in the last year or so. Having a kid during a pandemic, we didn’t go anywhere or do anything, even moreso than we did before he was born. We didn’t know what would happen if he got sick, then it seemed like everyone else was getting sick more frequently and we didn’t want him to get sick, then we just settled into this routine of “we’re home.” My husband is a big golfer, so he has his thing where he goes out and golfs on the weekend, and he has his time away. You know, as the mom, we often feel responsible for being home and always being there, so the last year and half to two years, I’ve been trying to put myself out there. We’ve settled in geographically where we’re going to be until we retire, unless a great opportunity shows up, but how can I get plugged into my community? It’s so hard to make friends as adults, and I know we all say that after we graduate college. So, how do I have that social life, how do I have time for just me again. And, it’s not because I’m not happy at home with my husband or my son, because I love being with them, but there’s also something to be said for doing things that are just for me.
So, I’ve gotten involved with my local Junior League in the last year, and that has been wonderful. I’ve loved getting to know more about my community and its needs, and the women in my community, and being able to network with them. Just feel a sense of comradery with people outside of work, because I didn’t really know anybody outside of work. I’m lucky to have a lot of friends from grad school who happened to settle in this area, which is great and they’re all in that same season of life, but then also it feels like, it’s me with all my other mom friends, but what about me outside of that. It’s been nice to connect with other women who are in different seasons of life too. I feel like I’m really starting to settle into who I am again, getting involved in things, meeting other people. Just getting out of my house and doing something different, has been really rewarding.
I think that’s really special. The Junior League, especially, is an organization that can pocket you into different parts of the community, and you delve your web of connections even wider.
Yeah, exactly. I’ve loved it, it’s been so much fun. I’m an assistant chair for one of our big fundraising events that’s coming up in a month or so. We’ve been networking with other businesses and restaurants in the community, I never would have known about these people and here I am with the opportunity to network and learn about them. So, it’s been a lot of fun and I’m so glad I put myself out there. It’s scary when you’re in your late twenties and early thirties, even later to be like, “I’m just going to go this meeting where I don’t know anybody and go make friends.” I’m so glad I did it and would encourage anyone to just be brave and go to the meeting, go meet somebody. Whether its Junior League, Rotary, any of these other organizations that I’m sure your area has that you can really get plugged in with other people.
What would 11-year-old Ariel think about the life that you’ve created for yourself?
I think I would be surprised in some ways and not surprised in others. I would not have been surprised that I’m already married. Already? As if I got married super young, I got married at a very normal age, in my late twenties. But that I’m married and have a kid, I’ve always known that I wanted to have a family, so that’s not at all surprising. But I think my career trajectory, I would have been very surprised about. I’ve always been very driven, very Type A, very “this is what I want to do, this is how I’m going to achieve it,” and I took kind of a left turn, but again it was for the better. At 11, I probably would have thought that I was in a more traditional, defined career like a teacher, a doctor, a nurse, something along those lines where it’s a very — I consider those to be traditional careers where, nobody grows up thinking, “I want to be a program manager in research.” It’s one of those jobs that you fall into or discover on your own. So, I think I would have been very surprised in my career path.
RAPID FIRE
What is a piece of advice you received that has impacted the way you look at building and maintaining your career?
Oh, that’s a good question. The first thing that always comes to mind is my toolbox. In athletic training we’re always talking about our toolbox, you learn all these skills and it’s all part of your toolbox. Just because you’re building something doesn’t mean you pull every single tool out. You pull out what you need, and I think that’s really translatable to your career. You learn things in every different role you have and every position that you hold. I may never have to tape an ankle again, but I learned inter-personal skills and that is part of my professional toolbox. I may never have to rehab an ACL tear again, but I learned how to empathize with someone who's going through something really difficult and how to help them through that.
Oh that’s a great analogy. What do you hope for yourself in 5 years?
I hope that I am still in a position that is very rewarding, whatever that may be. And that I’m still able to maintain the balance that I have now.
Favorite thing to get you jazzed up before a big day?
I feel like pouring into my kid. In the morning, just having a good morning with him. He’s 3.5-years-old, so he has a lot of feelings. But those mornings when he’s being silly and we’re just having a fun morning together, even if it’s only for ten minutes or so, it fills me up, it gives me my purpose. It just gets me in a good headspace.
What is your preferred way to use vacation time or PTO?
It’s usually spent with my family. So, I relocated to North Carolina. Like I said, I went to college in Massachusetts, I was born and raised in the sticks of central New York and that’s where all of my family still is. So, usually my PTO is they are visiting or we’re going to New York to visit them.
You and I are on the same wavelength with that. What are you looking forward to right now?
Definitely my big fundraiser that’s coming up in a month. A lot of my time at home has been spent on that. Just looking forward to several annual events at work that are coming up. I also feel like I’m in a status quo state right now, which is really nice. After coming out of so many years of ya know, I’m in college, then I’m in grad school, then I’m looking for jobs, then I’m switching jobs, we’re trying to buy a home, where are we going to settle down and start a family — I feel like we’ve hit a spot where we’re like, “We’re good.” We’re just sort of living, there’s small exciting things coming up, but we’re not looking to the next big thing. We’re just sort of status quo, and its the first time since probably middle school that I’m not looking toward the next big, huge change. The next big thing? We’re going to Disney World in a couple months, that’s great.
The status quo can be a great thing sometimes. Finally, what is your Too Many Exclamation Points right now?
Feeling like I have to get approval to make any decisions. Like I said, I’m a program manager, so I do all sorts of management of things for our department and I report directly up to our Vice Chair of Research, and I find myself going to her a lot with “Do you want me to send this email?” “Do you want to contact this person?” “Is this okay?” And she’s always been incredibly supportive to say that “No, you got it.” Feeling like I have the authority and the power to initiate some of those conversations, and make those decisions and go back to her with, “This is what I’ve decided, let me know if I should do it differently in the future.” So that’s something I’m working on right now that I’m really struggling with.
Thank you so much to Ariel for joining us this week and sharing the story of her career journey. Our podcast together goes into even more detail, so I encourage you to take a listen.
Be sure to share in the comments something that Ariel said that resonated with you or sharing this episode with a friend to encourage them on their career journey.
As always, I’m grateful you’re here and wish you a week ahead with only the best exclamation points! — Skylar