Happy International Women's Day!
I don’t have much to say today other than Happy International Women’s Day!
I’m so grateful you’re here — that you read my musings, take in my book recommendations, and listen to me pontificate on the items that take up space in mind. Today, and every day, I hope that you are surrounded by a community of strong women who lift you up, who sing your praises, who make you laugh, who you can share your tears, and who listen to you.
I’ve lived much of my life in a “You have to look out for #1” mindset (#1 meaning yourself). Moving forward thinking about and focusing inward on how I’m prepared for and ready to be a professional woman. How I can show up the best, execute my job priorities well, and be a good colleague. I wasn’t always one to send a text checking in or the friend to be asked to go have a drink after work. Much of that is because I didn’t open myself up to it. At thirty-two years old, I honestly feel that what you present is what you attract, so I was able to create great work friends and with the exception of a few that’s exactly where they stayed.
I knew that if I wanted to cultivate friendships and community, I needed to open myself up more, be vulnerable with the right people, and be the type of friend I often needed. I started sending text messages, asking if folks wanted a coffee on the way into work, sitting with the group during lunch (even if my book was really calling my name), being present in team bonding and leaving space for conversations that weren’t always work related.
It seems silly to reflect on it now, but when you’ve always been a Type-A perfectionist, it’s very hard to let your guard down when your primary source of identity is in your work environment. But I realized how much I was missing out on because I was so uptight and not open to creating true relationships with the women that God and circumstance had placed around me. I had prayed for community and prayed for friendship, so by gosh I was going to start showing up in a way that folks would want to find community and true friendship with me.
And so I did and I’m all the better because of it.
On International Women’s Day today, I pray that you not be like me and wait too long to build true community with the women around you. There will always be folks who don’t deserve your trust or are not honest in their intentions, but if you lead with those worries you can miss out on truly life-giving and wonderful relationships with mentors, colleagues, sisters, and friends.
Send the text checking in on someone. Comment on their LinkedIn post. Share a funny meme that reminds you of them. Pick up the phone and call them to see how their day was. Buy a coffee for your colleagues just because. Send a good morning TEAMS message even when you’re mad at the world. Check in if you think someone might be having a hard time.
Most importantly, be the type of woman that you want your friends to be surrounded by, your daughters to look up to, and you wish your mothers or aunts were more like.
Please excuse my stream of consciousness today (and any typos), but I wanted you to know I was thinking of you and wanted you to know how valued you are in the communities you inhabit.
May you have only the best exclamation points today and always!!
All my best,
Skylar