Mya A's TOO MANY EXCLAMATION POINTS
Mya A's TOO MANY EXCLAMATION POINTS
32, Customer Advocacy, New York
The perspectives and stories shared in this conversation reflect only those of the speakers and in no way represent the viewpoints of their employers or connected organizations.
Mya is a 32-year-old Vice President of Customer Care and Advocacy at a national bank. During this episode of TOO MANY EXCLAMATION POINTS, she shares about her professional growth to bank leadership, the finance advice she wishes all women knew, and how a divorce transformed her career journey.
Please note: Our conversation has been edited and condensed for this newsletter. Enjoy the full conversation with Mya on the TOO MANY EXCLAMATION POINTS podcast through Substack and on Spotify.
Who are you, what do you do for a living, and what are you passionate about right now?
Hi, I am Mya, I’m an MBA, I’m a Vice President for M&T Bank, and I’m also a landlord and property investor. I have two daughters, so I’m a mom. I’m very passionate about being a mom, as well as traveling, I like to read and I’m very passionate about my faith in Jesus. There are three things that I always say, “I love Jesus and Jesus loves me, I love my family and my family loves me, and I love money and money loves me.” I’m excited that I get to probably talk about all three of these during this conversation.
What a great way to introduce yourself, a nice elevator speech. Can you share with us, Mya, a 3-5 minute career journey from high school, deciding where you wanted to go to college and major in, all the way to where you are now?
In high school, I wasn’t quite sure what I wanted to be to be honest, it was a lot of different things. I thought about being an attorney, there was a time where I thought about going into medicine. That changed quickly as soon as I went to a conference, to be honest, nothing against medicine I just couldn’t do it. So, I was looking at colleges with my mom and I stumbled across Elmira. As crazy as it sounds, I didn’t like anything about it other than I thought the campus was gorgeous, which it is. So, I chose that, which is probably not the best way to choose a college. I realized after my second year, there were a lot of things that Elmira brought me, like we got to study abroad together, and we got to dance there, but it wasn’t for me, and I transferred to a college closer to home that offered me more of what I wanted to do. So, I went into college kind of blindly. I majored in speech pathology for a little bit, there was a lot of stuff that I ventured into that I realized I didn’t want to do, and, even when I went to Fredonia. I graduated in 2014 as a Sociology major, just because that was something I was getting good grades in, and it interests me. I immediately got a job at Geico selling insurance, so I moved to Buffalo and worked for a few different insurance companies there for about three years. Then, I was home for a weekend and met the man I married, and decided to make a career change. With insurance, you’re going all the time, and I wanted more of a structured lifestyle, and I’ve always liked the more financial part of insurance. I switched to banking, was hired as a personal banker outside Buffalo, and then moved back home and started working in those branches. I did that for about three years as a personal banker, that started around 2017. During that time, I got married, I had my first daughter, and I took a job with M&T Bank, where I am now, in 2020 as a relationship banker, so similar to a personal banker. The pandemic hit, I was pregnant with my second daughter. When I was 36 weeks pregnant, I was notified that the branch I was working for was actually closing and that I had to find a new job before I went on maternity leave. At 36 weeks, you’re not due until 40 but you’re still full-term, so I ended up accepting a promotion as a Sr. Relationship Banker, but the job I was taking would have been in Buffalo, an hour away. The man I was married to is a pilot, so I could have either been an hour away from my children at their childcare with one being a newborn, which is not feasible at all, or take them on an hour commute into a new daycare they’re not familiar with, also not feasible, so I actually took a part-time job with a company I had worked with before.
During that process, a huge life event hit, I filed for divorce. I realized at that time that I needed a full-time job. So, I took the first job that really provided me a good income, so I was a Sales Supervisor for Spectrum, the pay was good, but the hours were terrible, especially being a single mom. So, as soon as I accepted the job, I was continuing to look for another job. I was there for about three months, then was hired by another company, which I took that for the hours. I wasn’t good at that job, I actually got fired from it. But, by the time I had been fired, M&T reached out to me saying that there was a branch manager position and they wanted me to apply and take it. I wasn’t off of work for two weeks, if that. So, I came back to M&T, took that position and was a branch manager, but then I took a position in customer advocacy, which I work hybrid - I go to Buffalo two days a week, but I’m home alone. I took it solely because it offers me the opportunity to be more present with my children, especially now that one is in school and for life in general.
What a journey, Mya?! A couple things that I think are really important to highlight is that usually there’s always something bigger at play. It may seem like a dead-end or a wrong turn, but it always redirects you where you’re supposed to go. I’m someone who believes in kismet and we share our faith, so what feels like a wrong turn or a wrong decision or a hard moment often finds a way to something better and more meaningful. How are you feeling where you currently are? Are you feeling satisfied, especially with the twists and the turns?
Yeah, I definitely feel that I would not be in this position, if I had not gone through that divorce. To be honest, for probably my entire life, even like working in insurance and banking, I always thought that if there were ever the opportunity to be a stay-at-home-mom, that I would be. That was always my passion, especially when I had my first daughter. At the time, their dad was a starting pilot, I mean it’s crazy to think about because everyone thinks that pilots make a massive amount of money, and he had to pay his dues and was making a very small amount of money, so I couldn’t at the time. The goal was always, “when I could, I would,” which was why I went into working part-time, but I probably would have focused only on the real estate part and still continue to invest in properties, but with his income to create more wealth. But, I wanted to make sure that if I couldn’t be a stay-at-home-mom and if I had to be away from my children for 8 hours a day, that I was going to make it worth it. If I can’t be home with my kids, I’m going to make sure that I’m working and learning and moving forward in that way. When I do get to spend time with them, and no offense to anyone who has these problems, I never want it to be like, “we can’t go on vacation, or have fun, or I can’t provide dance class,” because I’m also not doing well financially. The goal was always, if I’m going to be away from them, I have to make sure it’s worth it and make their life worthwhile for the time I get to spend with them. So that’s what I did.
That’s a really unique perspective, thank you for your honesty and transparency in that. What do you wish people knew about the work that you do?
You know, when people think about banks, and bankers, and even landlords, I think there’s a persona that we’re kind of sleazy and just after money. And, I mean at the end of the day, a bank has to make money, every business does. From what I do with my work, another thing that people think when they hear customer advocacy, they think that I am a customer service rep. The bottom line and what’s cool about the department that I work for, is my team that I manage, they resolve the complaints. So, the complaints will come in to a customer service rep or to a branch or social media, everything from the keyboard warriors that are complaining about online banking and how M&T is all this profanity. There’s a huge executive case because someone just wired off fraud, so they come to my specialists, and they do research with the branches, they look at accounts for what went wrong. They come in and they solve it, we take our banker hats off to advocate for the customer. So, we’re going to Lending and saying, “hey, let’s make it right,” and going to the branch saying, “hey, this wasn’t okay.” In that process, instead of just hearing the complaint and trying to put a band-aid on it and giving them a gift card, we’re actually solving the problem and changing protocols. From a handicap person who can’t really get into a branch and there’s a ramp and a new door being put in. There’s certain rules where once money is gone you can’t get it back, and somehow we can find a way to make it whole, if we can do the proper research. It just takes a little digging, we’re kind of like little stalkers, but we solve the problem.
And the same with being a landlord. I know there’s a huge stigma right now because rent has risen so astronomically. The properties that I buy, I make sure that they’re in a good area and they’re affordable for me to purchase however I need to purchase it. So, I make sure the rent is affordable and I screen for very good tenants, so that I’m not just taking money because everyone else raised rent 18%, I do it proportionately as to how and what I put into the investment and what it’s worth. I provide them a place to live where maybe they couldn’t get a mortgage, but still have a nice place to live and that way they can save money and work on their finances too. Instead of being this money hungry, I do love money, but there’s parts where you can use money as a tool, and it can help yourself and help others too. That’s something I think is very different from what I actually do to what people think I might be doing on all different realms.
That’s a really good point because we do think about, especially for people who have rented or who haven’t had the privilege of owning a home or living with their parents long-term. Renting is a big deal, it’s a large investment and it’s a large part of our paychecks when we pay those rent checks. So, on behalf of anyone who rents, thank you Mya for being a good landlord!
I hope so, I definitely try my best. That’s probably my favorite thing that I do. I’m very passionate about property and that side of investing.
In that same vein, both from the investment side and the banking side, you have a passion for finance and a passion for money, what’s something you learned recently or throughout the past ten years since graduating from college, about finances, managing finances, investing, being smart with your money that you wish more women knew about?
Well, first, I’m going to tell you quickly, first and foremost keep it private. That’s yours and obviously if you’re married, I believe in becoming one and you share it with your spouse. I’ve learned that there’s no reason to talk about it and the majority of people that do talk about it, it’s not … I listen to a lot of podcasts about wealth and they always say, if you’re at a yacht convention, the people who have money don’t dress like they have money. They keep it under wraps like a protection. And I see it all the time with fraud, people will gloat and maybe give away their online banking information, and a million dollars is being wired out of their account. Bank robberies are at an all-time low because someone can go on and schmooze and they can take money out in 20 seconds, rather than getting 2 grand from a bank. So, first and foremost focus on yourself and keep it under wraps.
Second is to live within your means and keep a second source of income. They kind of go hand-in-hand. Especially with COVID and jobs, there’s so many people that extend their capabilities financially and they leverage so much, and when you do that with debt and credit you become like a slave to the bank, and you’d probably hate banks if that’s the case. So, to live within your means, have a second source of income, have a savings. Because I have seen from both sides, being a landlord and from being on both sides of the banking when life hits. There’s a time where no income is coming in, and if people are used to living a lavish lifestyle and went from a huge income to nothing, and they’re used to living paycheck-to-paycheck because of the comfort that they lived from “it’s always coming in, what could happen,” to bang COVID, and then they’re filing bankruptcy. So, if you had saved a little bit of money, you could have bought more time and hadn’t have had to totally stress out and survive through that. Along with that, if you’re not the breadwinner, just make sure you have your own. I was raised by a funeral director, so not only could the person lose their income from something like COVID, but they’re going to die and hopefully that doesn’t happen for a long time. I highly, highly suggest investing in life insurance. That is the only insurance that is guaranteed to pay out, and I’m telling you, it’s nothing anyone wants to pay for at all, but I mean the father of my kids’ best friend just passed away and they have no idea what to do. I’ve seen this happen a million times where it’s the breadwinner or the sole-provider who leaves behind a family and they don’t know what to do. They set up GoFundMe’s, but how is that going to pay for the mortgage and the cars and the school and everything else., Now, they have to find childcare and that’s strenuous because she has to get a job and she’s never had a job before … even if you don’t use it, if you want to stay home I encourage that and I wish I could, but make sure you always have something to fall back on whether it’s your education, your experience or just a little side gig that you can make into a full-time gig.
No one wants to think about life hitting, but it hits. And there’s going to be a time where if all your eggs are in one basket, that basket is going to get dumped out. You need to make sure instead of looking at the basket asking how you’ll fill it back up again. It might not be as big of a basket, but you have some other baskets that you can put back into it. That’s something I’ve found in life is I’ve lived on both sides of the luxury vehicles and the “I work hard, I should have this,” but man, I could also have a really good job and have a Kia. Nothing wrong again, I love my Kia, but I could probably qualify for a huge car, but I want to make sure I can still go on vacations and if something happens, I have a savings in case, because you never know. And that makes me happier than being able to get into a GMC Yukon Denali.
I remember when I filed for divorce and I was working part-time. I remember, my youngest was a baby, and I would stand over her crib and I would pray and just cry, “Help me find a way to keep this house,” and He provided, and I worked hard to get it. But, I never want to be in that position where I’m asking how am I going to do this. That’s something I would suggest, just don’t become a slave to debt and live well within your means, it’s a way better place.
I appreciate that perspective because I think that social media changes our perspective on what people have and what people can afford. Like you said, people who maybe gloat about the things they have or the opportunities, it’s so much more about what’s best for you and your family and living within your means. That’s long-term financial security, being able to do that as opposed to having the nicest and the newest. Thinking that, “well, so-and-so has it and I work harder than them, so I deserve that.”
To turn a little bit, you’re a mom to two little girls, how has becoming a mom shaped your thinking about long-term career goals, long-term career trajectory and planning for that?
They always play a huge part in the jobs I take. The job I took now was solely because of them. I’m thankful it was a promotion, don’t get me wrong, I was looking at a bunch of different jobs. I can’t even lie to you and say that I was set on being in customer advocacy. I started to apply when I realized my first daughter was going into kindergarten, for a bunch of different reasons from our school district to the pre-school that she was at didn’t host a pre-K. So, if I was going to put her in that school, I would have had to take a 55-minute commute and be stuck at the branch, so I couldn’t really pick them up or pick her up from school in time. I would have relied heavily on my mom, which she would have done. Like I said, their dad is a pilot and when he’s home, he’s home, but he’s gone like half the time. I, again back to my faith, I just prayed and I didn’t know what it would take and decided to sign her up for that school and the day that I signed her up, I got that promotion. What I will always base my career on while they’re still young, because they’re only this young once, when they’re gone, I can do whatever I want in my career, but I’m making sure that I’m choosing the job that fits around their schedule and their needs because that’s my priority right now. I’m thankful that has led me into paths where I’m at now, but I would be just as thankful if it didn’t because my whole world revolves around them. I always say and advice that I’ve heard is “No one is going to remember or really care that you worked late, other than your kids.” They’re going to remember that you missed their dance recitals, their concerts, their T-ball games, their soccer games. I really never played soccer, but I coached the soccer team because I want to bond with her and her friends. That’s always where I place my career and jobs as what’s going to be best for them and how am I going to be a mom as much as possible, while providing for them financially and being a good worker as well.
As you think about them and their future, what do you hope for them and future generations of family?
You know, I just hope, as I’m raising girls who are very strong-willed and fearless, and I hope that never fades. I just hope they know that if something is placed on your mind and your heart that the Lord placed it there because you’re supposed to do it. Now, people often think “why am I not there yet,” but the whole point is you have to get up and do it. You can’t just pray for this glamorous life and then bing, it’s going to happen. You have to get up and do the work. If it’s placed in your head, it’s because you’re supposed to do it, but you have to get up and do it. That’s something I always instill, whether it’s a new tumbling trick or dreams of being a surgeon or an astronaut that they want to be. Right now, it’s a “You’re going to do it, but maybe we should focus on your grades,” or do this. Whatever path you need to take, it’s not going to be easy and it’s going to be work and you have to do it, but you can do it because it’s on your heart. I know their dreams may change, but that’s something I would tell anyone whether they’re a child or an adult is if it’s on your heart and even if it seems crazy, you’re supposed to do it.
That’s a great reminder! What would 11-year-old Mya think about the life that you’ve built for yourself.
At 11-years-old, I’d probably be wondering, I thought about being a pediatrician or an attorney, so she might have been sideswept by this. If I really think about everything, I honestly would say that, similar to wanting to be an attorney, I get to work with attorneys in real estate, I work with a lot of attorneys in my job. We act as a liaison to advocate, so there’s a lot of legal and attorney work that I do. So, I would say that that part of me as an 11-year-old would be fulfilled. As a 20-year-old, I would probably, I’d be very excited. I remember sitting with my sorority sisters and we were calculating with my friend who was a math major how much income our landlord gets just from our sorority, and it was like a million dollars a year, and I was like, “I want to figure out how to do this.” I am not at that level as a landlord, to be clear, but I’d be proud that I do have some properties as a 20-year-old. And then as a 25-year-old, and I know this is way different than being an 11-year-old, as soon as I went into banking, I knew I wanted to be a branch manager and promote, but I didn’t know where that would go with children. I think if I could go back in time and tell myself that in seven years I’d be where I’m at now, I wouldn’t believe it and I would probably cry because I didn’t know how I was going to get there or what I was going to do. Like I said, it was placed on my heart and I just kept doing it. I think my 25-year-old self would be proud, my 11-year-old self would be confused, and my 20-year-old self would be like “Okay, that’s cool.”
RAPID FIRE
What is a piece of advice you received that has impacted the way you look at building and maintaining your career?
Something that always sticks with me and I hope it sticks with you is, “Nice girls don’t get promoted.” And that sounds brash and that’s just the truth. If you are not working within your wage, they’re going to keep you there because you’re working three different jobs getting a lower salary. As bad as it sounds, I’ve watched that happen. Set boundaries, it’ll make you happier. Work your job to the best of your ability and always seek more.
I love that, a good reminder. What do you hope for yourself in 5 years?
In five years, I do want to continue forward with my job at the bank. I want to scale more with the properties, especially now that a lot of stuff has calmed down. And I’m really excited to watch my children grow, get more into dance, and see how they develop with their personalities and what they’re in to.
What are you currently reading or what have you read recently that has stuck with you?
I didn’t expect it to stick with me because I actually didn’t like this book in the beginning, it was in a book club at work, called Midnight Library. At first, I was like, “I don’t like this,” especially being a funeral director’s daughter and what I believe. But it made me realize that there’s no life as good as the one you have.
What is your preferred way to use vacation time or PTO?
We’re big travelers so we actually have a goal of by the time my daughters are out of the house or off to college, we want to see every national park. We’ve already knocked out six, if we do four a year, we can get there. We’re big travelers, hikers. We also go to Disney World, we like a lot of beaches and just exploring.
Finally, what is your TOO MANY EXCLAMATION POINTS right now?
So, there are a lot of exclamation points in my life, I can’t even act like it’s calm. As I said before, I was going through a divorce, and sometimes there’s a greener pasture and sometimes there’s not, and I always prayed for my husband and did a lot of stuff too, it’s always two people if there’s a divorce, and so I worked on myself and he’s working on himself. We’re at a point now, where we’ve realized that maybe we should try to come together again. There’s a lot of stuff that’s changed, so I’m excited about that, that does carry over into my work life. He took a different job where he’s now home more spending time with our children and working on ourselves, so that’s a huge exclamation point. And then with work, I think something that is always going to be a struggle for me, that I preach all the time with work-life boundaries, I work until 4, maybe 4:15 and then I’m done. There are some people that might call me, and I always say, “There’s nothing that is that important that it can’t wait until tomorrow or Monday.” I’ve had my manager reach out to me at 5:45 on a Friday because she needs to get something done, I simply tell her, I can’t get that in. But I get that anxiety of like, “shoot, are they going to be mad?” And no one has ever gotten mad at me for setting boundaries or fired me or written me up. But it still makes me wonder, uhhh should I get back on, what’s going to be waiting for me on Monday, are people mad at me? And that’s my biggest thing, I set my boundaries for peace and in return sometimes it gives me anxiety.
Thank you so much to Mya for joining us this week and sharing the story of her career journey and life as a working single mom. Our podcast together goes into even more detail, so I encourage you to take a listen.
Be sure to share in the comments something that Mya said that resonated with you or send this episode to a friend to encourage them on their career journey.
As always, I’m grateful you’re here and wish you a week ahead with only the best exclamation points! — Skylar